Breaking News: Fulham Sign Stud Giles Barnes - Danger for American Blog Buddy Dempsey

We're bringing you all the latest and greatest breaking fantasy news. We follow up our early breaking story yesterday (Defoe injury) with news today that Fulham have acquired stud midfielder Giles Barnes from Derby.

As we mentioned in our preview this week, Fulham's "cheap" midfielders Danny Murphy and American Clinton Dempsey look excellent value purchases - but the introduction of Barnes at Craven Cottage will immediately put Dempsey and Simon Davies' starting positions at risk. Murphy, the captain, should be safe from rotation.

While Fulham manager Roy Hodgson is not one to tinker with his starting eleven too often, the blow of losing Jimmy Bullard to Hull City will surely be softened with the introduction of Barnes to the side.

Dempsey & Davies owners should monitor this situation closely then.

Breaking News or Bullshit/Bollocks? Defoe Breaks Bone before Bolton

Defoe breaks foot ahead of Bolton match? The report is "unconfirmed," but it's FourFourTwo magazine - a somewhat reliable beacon of footballing journalism akin to Never Captain Nicky Butt.

Well, if it's broken - you heard it here first. If it's a big mistake, apologies in advance.

EPL Gameweek 24 Fantasy Preview: I have Not (Séamus) Given Up Just Yet on Ending Up with a Bird Like That

This weekend provides footie fans with not only a full slate of Premier League matches, but also the suspense that comes with the last few hours of the January transfer window. Will Shay Given join Manchester City to complete the overpriced transfer window tactical sweep (One goalkeeper – one defender (Bridge) – one midfielder (De Jong) – one striker (Bellamy)?

How does Joe Hart feel? For every "new" signing and happy face, there's a player with a frown. But before we discuss City's incredible improvement (they will finish no lower than 8^th this season after some excellent January business), we have a weekend of fantasy football to look at:

As always, we'll analyze (I) the best Premier League match this week (II) the most fantasy friendly game (III) a prediction of stud and dud performers and (IV) a weekly best eleven. Check the comments section for breaking news as it happens regarding injuries or transfers - but for now, let's take a look at the week ahead.

I. Chelsea @ Liverpool: Liverpool blew it late at Wigan despite a solid first half finish from blog buddy Benayoun but it just wasn't enough. Mido and Zaki ran, instead of walked like Egyptians all match and provided the industry and occasional scare that led to the late Mido equalizer. A nice debut then for the enigma that is Mido. A member of what was probably one of the greatest video game strike partnerships in FIFA 2003 (or is it 2004?) where he combines with Zlatan Ibrahimovic to lead the Ajax line. I used to love Xbox.

Regardless of video game console reminiscing, Liverpool are a side on the slide as Chelsea head to Anfield for a preview of what should be this year's 2^nd and 3^rd placed Premier League teams. I can't see anyone challenging United's squad depth in the league, and Aston Villa and Arsenal should fight to the wire for 4^th, but there will always be dreamers. Chelsea moved above Liverpool in the table (on goal difference) with a decent, if not expected 2-0 home win over Boro. Certainly not the most fluid football by Scolari's men, but the clean sheet was a nice return to the norm after a few rocky weeks outside of the status quo for Scolari's banged up defense.

Liverpool shocked Chelsea at Stamford Bridge in October, and the Blues will be relishing the chance to avenge their defeat. But without the (formerly) commanding Carvalho (hamstrung) and the bonus point machine that is Essien (returns in March – be careful Lampard owners!), Chelsea will be weaker up the middle. And – surprise, surprise – since Liverpool lack stud wide players and service from the wings – much of Liverpool's attack should come through Mascherano – Gerrard – Torres right up the middle.

I think Liverpool will be able to operate in the centre of the pitch – which will cause Lampard and Ballack to retreat in support of Mikel/Alex/Terry to handle with Gerrard/Torres and thus a counter-attack or two from the speed of Kalou could be Chelsea's best shot. I mentioned the Ivorian political activist Kalou a few weeks ago as a great differential to Ashley Young or mid-priced midfielders (he plays in a forward role) and though he is very expensive, he proved his worth with two goals against Boro.

As I always do with Big 4 sides, I predict a low scoring draw. Fantasy frustration for Lampard/Gerrard owners, but you can just never bench those British studs – because even though they just can't do it at international level, they do often produce that little bit of magic for their clubs.

Prediction: 1-1 draw

II. Everton @ Mancheser United: A very difficult week for "obvious" fantasy selections – especially as Everton are in-form and midfield maestro Mikel Arteta is a set piece machine – but after United put five past 10-man WBA, you can't really bet against the champions. Patrice Evra may return from injury, worrying short term John O'Shea owners. Nani may also enter the mix. Vidic – Ronaldo – Berbatov are the players to own – without employing at least 2 out of 3, few fantasy teams have a chance to put up big points down the stretch, but I think this game will be a bit tougher for Sir Alex's men facing a resilient David Moyes team.

Everton put 9 men behind the ball at Anfield during the FA Cup, and earned a 1-1 draw, so a shock 1-1 draw at Old Trafford is not out of the question, but I think the match will come down to an early United goal. If United can score within the first half hour, Everton will be forced to abandon their ultra-defensive shape and the likes of Ronaldo, Tevez, and Berbatov will have too much quality on the break. In that scenario, I see a comfortable 2-0 or 3-1 United win…

Of course, American Tim Howard could come up huge (and 6.0M fantasy rated Phil Jagielka is having a career year at the back), thus leaving investors in United disappointed – but I just think that Everton's three good 1-1 draws recently (Liverpool twice and Arsenal once) can't turn into four good 1-1 draws. That would be strange. Form has to break at some point, and Old Trafford is a great place for the 1-1 draw form to come to an end. Stick with all of your United players. Play Arteta or the in-form but possibly injured Aussie Tim Cahill from Everton, but perhaps ditch the defense if you can afford to leave Lescott or Jagielka on the bench.

Prediction: 2-0 Manchester United

III. Studs and Duds: I'm going to try and keep this short this week due to massive work requirements. Please feel free to enter in your own stud and dud selections in the comments section. Defoe looks a stud at Bolton after Tottenham's inspiring first half performance against Stoke. Perhaps Modric too, but he is a bit pricey in relation to stud Gamst Pederson who also has a favorable away matchup at Boro. Lots of studs in the mid priced category then in midfield, you could do much worse than studs Ireland, Gamst, Modric, Denilson, Noble, Milner and even Carrick or Giggs. All should provide solid returns down the stretch as permanent fixtures in their sides. None will break the bank. And many could differentiate.

As for duds – this is eventually Geovanni's "last chance" for many owners. Home to WBA, if he doesn't come through the full 90, and at least register a bonus point or assist – he will be universally dropped prior to the Chelsea match in gameweek 25. He is in absolutely terrible form, and with new signing Jimmy Bullard sure to steal some set pieces from the formerly must-have studly Brazilian, you have to hope he will produce as a "second striker" behind Daniel Cousin. It remains to be seen, but he's a dud going forward – and still selected by 30% of owners!

Speaking of very popular duds – Stoke's Rory Delap is still owned by a massive 15% of all managers, but his long throw has been less effective in the new year. Manchester City are suspect at the back, so once again Delap may get a "one more chance," by some owners this week – but once again, he looks dead weight especially with Clinton Dempsey (4.9M) and Danny Murphy (5.5M) permanent fixtures in Fulham's lineup and the previously mentioned stud Mark Noble (5.2M) taking charge of set pieces for Zola's high flying West Ham side.

IV. EPL Gameweek 24 Best Eleven with "quick" notes:

GK: Duke (Hull's 3.9M goalkeeper – what a bargain!)

D: Vidic (obvious) – C. Davies (5 bonus points in last 4 matches) – Zabaleta (playing an advanced midfield role)

M: Ronaldo (obvious) – Ireland (still looks crisp and creative with new mates) – Pennant (great service and speed) – Modric – (Tottenham's main man) – G. Barry

F: Berbatov (obvious) – Robin van Persie (obvious)

Good luck to all managers.

Breaking News: Robinho Arrested for Sexual Assault

I'm selfish and lost for words. Instead of thinking of humanity or political correctness, I think of the EPL.

I brought Robinho into my fantasy footie side last night for the first time this season, and today he is arrested for sexual assault. 

Worst. Move. Ever.

EPL Gameweek 23 Fantasy Preview: Back from Brazil and Ready to Roll is Robinho. Will GK Given Join Him at Eastlands?

Let's shift our attention from the one that got away (Kaka) to the Brazilian that stuck around (sort of). Robinho left Manchester City's training camp last week without permission and returned to Brazil to deal with "personal issues" (pictured above) but he's back in the UK as we get ready for another great Premier League gameweek.

As always, we'll analyze (I) the best Premier League match this week (II) the most fantasy friendly game (III) a prediction of stud and dud performers and (IV) a weekly best eleven. Check the comments section for breaking news as it happens regarding injuries or transfers - but for now, let's take a look at the week ahead.

I. Newcastle @ Manchester City: Honorable mention goes to Everton - Arsenal, who are actually fighting a battle for Europe, rather than City and Newcastle - who are fighting a battle to avoid the Coca Cola Championship, but the media attention around these two clubs is just too much for us to avoid.

Newcastle goalkeeper Shay Given has reportedly agreed to join Manchester City, but speculation is just that - speculation. And British tabloids are just that - rubbish. 

So City failed in their bid to capture Kaka, and instead are left with blog buddy and bad boy (Craig) Bellamy. Not exactly apples to apples that trade off. Should be a fun debut for Bellamy against one of his eight former clubs. Midfielder Nigel de Jong could also make his debut. Stud Stephen Ireland returns from suspension, and will be eager to add to his goal tally. Ireland scored in the last meeting between these two clubs (a 2-2 draw) and should be at the heart of City's attack.

Newcastle will be without Nicky Butt (suspended) and despite Given's heroics, have conceded 2 goals or more in their last four Premier League matches.

Expect goals in this one, then. I think Ireland - Robinho - Bellamy should be able to create some space at home, and reward fantasy owners.  City play Newcastle - Boro - Stoke in their next three, so immediate investment in the squad could pay dividends.

Prediction: 3 - 1 Manchester City

II.  Manchester United @ WBA: We know he can't drive, but can he score anymore? Beating a dead horse is sometimes fun, so here's a rewind to my post on December 15th:

"The other option of course, that everyone is scared of mentioning is the fact that perhaps you can just drop Ronaldo outright because he just isn't worth it this year. The United tactics this season are clearly set up to funnel through Carrick... and to "Hold it up" with Berbatov - who dictates the play. Last year without Berbatov (Tottenham) and Carrick (often injured or on the bench due to Hargreaves) the tactics revolved around Ronaldo. You felt shivers when he touched the pelota and thought he could score a hat trick every match. Not so much anymore in this new system."

To those managers who had the balls (sorry, ladies) to drop Ronaldo a month ago and captain Gerrard or Lampard over the past five weeks - I salute you. You have courage and have benefited. To those Ronaldo reliers still "hoping" for that explosion (penalty kick, free kick, wonderstrike) to come, time is running out, but perhaps a trip to WBA will be the cure and your (incredible) patience will finally pay off.

Judging by the United - Tottenham FA Cup match, Ronaldo reliers should keep dreaming. C-Ron was lively on the flank, and cut inside every once in a while - but he didn't "run the show." Tevez and Berbatov created more chances. Ronaldo is in a funk, and with about 15 fantasy weeks to go, he's down to his last few weeks to impress... or else. He's still owned by 25% of managers and even in an "off year," has 8 goals and 5 assists - but owners will hope he can finish on a hot streak and reach 18 to 20 total goals for the year - otherwise the season long investment will surely be a bust...

WBA are ravaged by injuries but are playing great football at home (three straight home wins), so United will have their hands somewhat full. Nevertheless it's a "first" versus "last" matchup. 

Prediction: Manchester United 3 - 1

III. Studs & Duds: Big names Ric Carvalho (doubtful - hamstring), Martin Laursen (out - knee) Mikel Arteta (doubtful - rib) and Ashley Young (out - suspension) all look like duds this week due to injury or suspension. Of those four, Arteta has the best chance to play and produce, given his current form.

Despite Wigan's good home form this season and ability to keep games close with sound defending, I sense a nice day for studs Torres / Gerrard at Wigan. Liverpool are too talented not to put 2 past Wigan, so those owners who have stuck with Ryan Taylor, Maynor Figueroa, and Chris Kirkland after Wigan's double gameweek could well be very disappointed this week. Up front, Latics new boy Mido could partner his fellow Egyptian Zaki in what will surely be a bruising battle against the likes of dyslexia inventor Skrtel or Hyypia. A fun physical battle to look out for. 

Villa's somewhat studs Gareth Barry and James Milner will look to pick up the slack without Ashley Young, and Pompey have been terrible at home, but I see a tight match in that one with Laursen injured and Young suspended - Villa's two most influential players. 2-1 either way or a 1-1 draw in my book with little excitement and little fantasy rewards. Will be fun to see if new signing Heskey can produce alongside Agbonlahor at Villa.

Once again, Gamst Pederson and McCarthy look value stud selections at home to a decent Bolton side, and just as we predicted - Blackburn continue to look very ripe for fantasy investment under Sam Allardyce. Cheap quality. Solid at the back. Direct football. Goals. Gamst. What more could you ask for. I am very high on Gamst / McCarthy despite Bolton's good defensive record over the past few seasons. Random tangent - I've always loved Mark Noble and think he could prove to be a superb budget midfielder the rest of the season...

IV. EPL Gameweek 23 Best Eleven:

GK: Cech

D: A. Cole - O'Shea - S. Warnock

M: Ronaldo - Lampard - Gamst - Noble - Bullard

F: Robinho - Berbatov

Zlatan Couldn't Make It to LA, But A Few (Hot) Swedish Football Fans Took His Place

A few weekend thoughts across the world football landscape before we turn our attention to the Premier League this week...

• I made the 25 minute trek to the Home Depot Center in Los Angeles to watch the US National Team (reserves) out-play Sweden's reserves. The temperature was quite chilly for LA (55 F or 13 C) but the match was decent. Sacha Kljestan's scored all three US goals - and his move to Scottish champion Celtic now looks to be a matter of "when," rather than "if." Kljestan had a free role in the midfield and was 'box to box' in the typical Lampard / Gerrard / insert your favorite box-to-box midfielder here. The night only had two disappointments - 1) Zlatan wasn't allowed to leave Milan and 2) only ~ 10,000 fans showed up.  The largely Hispanic LA population was perhaps more interested in the Moseley - Margarito fight a few miles away at The Staples Center, or just wanted to avoid the cool temperatures.

• Jimmy Bullard says he moved to Hull "for the football, not the money." Sure. And I went to a Sweden football match "for the football, not the breasts."

• Fantasy Premier League super stud Mikel Arteta is missing from Everton's FA Cup Match at Anfield due to a rib injury. Nevertheless, Everton lead Liverpool 1-0 at the half.

• David Beckham - the ladies' equivalent of a "Swedish footie fan experience," scored his first goal for AC Milan. Beckham should be back in LA in the spring playing alongside and against the no-names who featured last night at the Home Depot Center, but for another month or two, at least, he can rub dressing room elbows with Kaka and Ronaldinho.

It's Official: Blog Buddy Bullard to Hull

And there goes Fulham's Top 10 finish. Poof. Gone. The rumor has turned into reality. 

Fulham stud Jimmy Bullard has officially joined Hull.

I have a big soft spot for the England international not because he saved Fulham from relegation last season, but because he returned from injury to lead my fantasy team Cantona FC to a third straight mini-league title last season. What a differentiator.

This year, without Bullard, I'm stuck in third place - 3 pts out of second and 10 pts off first in the official fantasy premier league game - and perhaps the remedy for a return to the top and an unprecedented fourth straight league title will be the acquisition of the goofy looking, creative midfielder.

Bullard may steal some of Geovanni's free kicks (not a fantasy factor recently anyway) but with Marlon King leaving Hull for Boro, he may actually increase Geo's fantasy output if this scenario plays out:

Bullard runs centre of midfield with creativity, free flowing Dirk Kuyt-esque hair and pinpoint Robin van Persie-esque set pieces. Geo supports Daniel Cousin in a second striker role and with King gone, takes control of penalty duties.  Time will tell. What are your thoughts? Any Bullard or Hull fans, the floor is yours...

A Weekend of FA Cup Football & Footbo Surfing

The Premier League's 23rd gameweek gets underway on Tuesday the 27th, so this weekend will be focused on scouting future stars in the FA Cup and my trip to the Home Depot Center to check out Zlatan and Sweden take on the US in a pre-WC Qualifying friendly.

Look out for your favorite fantasy premier league preview on Sunday evening or perhaps Monday instead of its usual appearance today (Thursday).

Until then, check out some of the cool new Footbo widgets I've added to the site. Solid.

De Jong, De Jong, So Wrong: A Haiku for You

A bit of Japanese poetry for a massively overpaid Dutchman:

De Jong Not Worth It,

No Goals, Assists, Or Bonus,

Just like Nicky Butt

AIG Sponsored My Visit to see Some Sick Kids at a Hospital in Manchester, and a Carling Cup Match Broke Out

Some Manchester United news for those of you who are a) United fans b) fantasy footie managers with United ownership or c) former Wall Street employees without jobs due to the economic meltdown.

•  The American insurance firm AIG has decided to end its sponsorship deal with Manchester United. Their current contract ends in May 2010. Media and marketing analysts have reported that Carlos Tevez has sensationally demanded that Geico sponsor United's new kits, otherwise the caveman will move clubs over the summer transfer window.

• Carling Cup clearly costly for world's best squad. United are today reporting major Carling Cup injuries to Anderson, Rafael da Silva, and Jonny Evans. Minor injuries to Gary Neville, Carlos Tevez, Ryan Giggs and wonderstrike specialist Nani. We'll keep you especially updated on Rafael's status as well as Neville's fitness - as blog favorite Wes Brown returns to full fitness this week or next - we could see a much clearer picture at right back for United in the weeks/months to come.

Breaking News: Ronaldo Ends Scoring Drought; Clearly More Important Today than Obama Taking Office for Thousands Worldwide

Everyone's favorite d(r)iver ended his domestic scoring drought today with a converted penalty kick in the Carling Cup semifinal matchup against Derby. I scored against Derby County in the 2007-2008 Premier League season, but that is besides the point.

Obviously, Ronaldo is short on ego and confidence like Shaun Wright-Phillips is tall on a measuring tape, but the goal is still newsworthy for the thousands of fantasy footie owners who place the Captain's Armband on C-Ron's chiseled bicep week in and week out.

This goal (his first in domestic competition since November!) will surely boost the world's best player's confidence in weeks to come... if that's even possible.

Your move, West Brom.

Nice Control, Obama

Quality toe poke, Barack. 

Now don't wreck the country further, lad.

Breaking News: Blog Buddy Bellamy Bolts to Billionaires FC

Billionaires Football Club strikes again.

Craig Bellamy has officially blown up (on the field and off the field - and don't say we didn't warn you - we did) and will now form a strike partnership with Robinho after Manchester City agreed a fee with West Ham for the maniacal Welsh striker. 

But the ruler of Abu Dhabi's (Sheikh Mansour bin Zayed) gain is the ruler of Upton Park's (Gianfranco Zola) major loss.

While West Ham continued their brilliant attacking form (without Bellamy) through a 3-goal display at home to Fulham, the times could be tougher in the near future for blog favorite Carlton Cole.

Cole is in the best form of his career, and is cheap enough (in the fantasy premier league game) to hold on to despite increasingly difficult fixtures for the Hammers as well as the loss of their most creative attacking force (Bellamy), but I wouldn't expect continued consistency in terms of fantasy production from the big former Chelsea man. 

Cole won't benefit by Bellamy's departure. One of my all time favorites to watch Mark Noble will still take penalties and free kicks, and Cole will still run around like a loyal labrador retriever for 90 minutes and play for the shirt whilst Bellamy plays for the dirham.

Cole is big, he's fast, and his work rate is superb. But he's not tricky. He's not technical. And he's not even that positionally aware. Bellamy has all three of those attributes. Without that trickery around him, defenses will focus in more and more on stopping Cole aerially and providing extra support when he receives the ball with his back to goal. That's it. Not too tough. He's in inspired form, but I can't see it lasting.

Bellamy, on the other hand-  will join an attack that boasts the in form Robinho, Stephen Ireland, Sean Wright-Phillips, and soon to return from injury Martin Petrov. A bunch of cooks in the kitchen but at 6.5MM, he could very well outscore the much more popular 5.8MM Cole from here on out.

Manchester City striker Jo has been a massive failure (thus far) but perhaps Bellamy can spare the blushes of the Abu Dhabi United Group's bankroll once and for all. 

If not, there's always a Kaka or two around the corner.

EPL Gameweek 22 Fantasy Preview: No Wild Schemes or Kaka-mamie Ideas Here, Just Pure Butt Brilliance

We've previously mentioned the theatre of absurdity that it is Manchester City's ownership - here, and just a bit here, and oh yeah, here too. So we've made it pretty clear that we feel like we're living in the middle of Samuel Beckett's Waiting for Godot with all of this Kaka news. But nevertheless, the Premier League must go on. And with that, so must the heartbreak and despair of hundreds of thousands of fantasy football managers...

Let's look at (I) the best Premier League match (II) the most fantasy friendly encounter (III) stud and dud performers and (IV) a weekly best eleven. 

(Speaking of weekly best elevens, I recently added a Footbo widget to the right side of the blog which showcases a "Never Captain Nicky Butt" Best Eleven. Just for kicks, of course. These aren't necessarily the greatest players of all time, or our favorite players, but just a combination of some of the most exciting players with the ball at their feet - past and present.)

I. Everton @ Liverpool: League leaders Liverpool host the in-form Everton in the 207th Merseyside Derby on Monday night in Steven Gerrard's last game before he appears in court to face assault charges.  Liverpool fans will be hoping that the old saying "form is temporary, class is permanent" rings true as the men in red look to bounce back after a shocking nil-nil draw with Stoke.

On the injury front, consistent fantasy performer (due to lack of Rafa-rotation more than any excellent ability on his own part) Alvaro Arbeloa looks set to shake off a hamstring injury, and fellow Spanish international Xabi Alonso should also return to the Liverpool lineup following a foot injury.

Everton sit 6th in the league and have lost just one of their last 14 games, an even more impressive statistic when you factor in the disappearance of blog favorite friendly-in-real-life Yakubu to a season ending Achilles injury. 

But back to the fantasy world. Tim Cahill (7.7M) will continue to provide Everton with muscle and creativity up front but without the suspended Screech Powers look alike Maro Fellaini, will have his work cut out for him. David Moyes could go with bargain option Victor Anichebe (5.4M) at the top of his 4-5-1 - and shift Cahill back to midfield, but Anfield is still Anfield, and the emotion of a derby match often overshadows a small tactical switch or two.

This game could really use an early goal from a neutral's perspective. An early Liverpool strike will force Everton to attack, and Liverpool's offensive studs (Gerrard, Torres, Kuyt) could benefit and finish the day with 2 or 3 goals on the counter. Everton will be most dangerous not from the run of play, but from Mikel Arteta's set pieces. 

Prediction: 2 - 1 Liverpool

II. Stoke @ Chelsea: I know Stoke City are Liverpool killers (two nil-nil draws this season) and I know Chelsea have lacked home form this season, so all "external signs" point to a low-scoring 1-0 Chelsea win. Perhaps Stoke can even score a goal through new stud James Beattie? 

But football isn't about "external signs" and what you know, it's about quality on the pitch. And that, Chelsea have in abundance.

After a terrible 3-0 loss at Manchester United, Chelsea are at a critical juncture in their campaign. Avram Grant took over a club in crisis from Jose Mourinho last season, and had the best winning percentage in the Premier League (finishing second), reached the Champions League Final for the first time in club history, and also reached the Carling Cup Final. Supposed genius (but really only at international level, not club level) Luiz Felipe Scolari needs a win. A big win.

And that's what Chelsea will deliver. Even without Joe Cole, who faces a lengthy injury lay-off, the Blues should take care of Stoke. They have to. Play Anelka, Lampard, Carvalho, Bosingwa, and Cech with extreme confidence. Stoke will look to shut down shop (as usual) and exploit Rory Delap's long throws (as usual), but Chelsea will be in full control.

Prediction: 3 - 0 Chelsea

III. Studs & Duds: The weather is cold, and as all footballers know, when the weather gets cold, the hamstrings get awfully tight. Let's look at the injury and suspended duds this week - of which there are plenty: Wayne Rooney, Patrice Evra and Rio Ferdinand are out injured, so short-term stud Carlos Tevez and left back John O'Shea look set to start for Manchester United in a winnable game at the tough Reebok Stadium. Budget buys Steed Malbranque and Stephen Ireland are also suspended, as is the even cheaper Roman Bednar. Avoid those three then.

Look for WBA's 'classified as a midfielder' previously mentioned stud Jay Simpson (5.OM) to start up front for WBA. Even though WBA strikers usually can't hit the broad side of a barn, the on-loan Arsenal youngster will be given his opportunity to shine in the Premier League, and he is very cheap, so keep him on your surprise stud radar for weeks to come.

Short term duds this week despite their long term stud status: Fulham defenders. Everyone loves their Schwarzer's and Paintsil's and surely (with two games in hand) Fulham players are still great long term investments, but I really think West Ham are turning a leaf in 2009 under manager Gianfranco Zola. Call it a hunch, but I think the Bellamy/Cole partnership will cause problems for the usually stingy Fulham defense.

Lastly, I urged all fantasy managers to stay away from Brazilian Afonso Alves in the past, but I'm ready to retract that statement. Alves (6.8M) was excellent last year and has been terrible this year, but he has scored 3 goals in Boro's last two matches, and faces off against WBA. He looks sharp, and could be a super mini-league differentiator this weekend in the mid-low price striker section for managers with a transfer to spare. 

Manchester City fans may be dreaming about the dreamy Kaka week in and week out in the near future, but Boro fans could be dreaming about the not-so-dreamy Alves as well. I really think he could turn it on.

IV. EPL Gameweek 22 Best Eleven:

GK: H. Gomes

D: O'Shea - Carvalho - Carragher

M: Ronaldo - Lampard - S. Parker - S. Kalou* - Nasri

F: Alves - Bellamy

*Kalou looked lively in the FA Cup and with Joe Cole injured, could get the start. This 8.5M slot is usually reserved for Ashley Young, but I'll take a gamble on Kalou instead of Young this weekend.

Inventor of Dyslexia Martin Škrtel Returns as Agger moves to Milan

According to reports, Liverpool defender Daniel Agger is set for a move to AC Milan. The Danish stud has made just nine appearances for Liverpool this campaign.

If the transfer goes through (and this looks more and more likely judging by my first-hand translation of Danish media reports), Liverpool fans will surely question the mid-season move to leave them with only three top class central defenders. Of those three, only Jamie Carragher is neither injury prone nor just plain old.

But from a fantasy football perspective, Agger's move is good news for Sami Hyypia (5.2M) and future Martin Skrtel (5.6M) owners. If he can recapture his early season form, Skrtel in particular could prove a brilliant bargain down the stretch this season.

With Everton and Chelsea visiting Anfield in two of the next three gameweeks, immediate investment in Liverpool's defense is not necessary, but keep an eye on the Hyypia/Skrtel Rafa-rotation. 

I once read that in Slovakia, Skrtel does not own a house. He walks into random houses and people just move.

Thus, down the stretch, I expect the scary looking Slovak with the goofy sounding name to cement his place alongside Jamie Carragher, while Hyypia, aged 35, to be used only sparingly.

Breaking News: Rooney Out For Three Weeks, Caveman Takes Over

Wayne Rooney has been ruled out for three weeks after the striker suffered a hamstring injury during Manchester United's 1-0 win over a tough Wigan side.

"So easy a caveman could do it," could well be Carlos Tevez's new motto after seeing Rooney rifle in just six Premier League goals this season.

Tevez (9.0M), the caveman, must be licking his lips. Outside of his somewhat prehistoric facial features, the Argentine scored 14 Premier League goals last year but has been relegated to the bench this season in favor of a Dimitar Berbatov - Rooney partnership, but he should immediately step in and partner the sikly Bulgarian in United's attack.

Evra Out. Lather, Rinse, Repeat.

It seems like just yesterday that we went O'Shea bargain shopping as Manchester United left back stud Patrice Evra got hit with a lengthy five match ban.

And now, just like our favorite bottles of Pert Plus - we have to rinse and repeat - and deal with the new news that Evra, once again, is set for a spell on the sidelines.

However, according to most reports - Evra will only miss two Premier League fantasy gameweeks- weeks 22 and 23. He has already chipped in with 9 points this gameweek, and will obviously miss United's match with Wigan tomorrow.

Managers who are completely satisfied with their squads (probably about as common as a hedge fund manager being completely satisfied with his portfolio throughout the fiscal year 2008) could look to take advantage of the situation and take a 2-week punt on John O'Shea (5.4M). 

But as with all short-term rentals - the transfer in and subsequent transfer out just for a 2-week cameo could prove to be of little value if other areas of the squad need immediate strengthening.

Bad news for Evra owners and double gameweek investors - great news for Antonio Valencia and Amr Zaki owners - Manchester United's defense will be that much slower on the left flank - which should make for an interesting subplot tomorrow.

Former 23-Goal Hitman and (almost) Golden Boot Winner Returns to the Premier League

When I turn the clock back just five short years and analyze strikers in the Premier League, I think about the clinical Ruud van Nistelrooy. I think about the smooth Thierry Henry.  I even think about the thunder-thighs of Jimmy Floyd Hasselbaink.

But maybe I should think James Beattie. In a not-so-sensational return to top flight football, Stoke have signed Beattie from Sheffield United.

While the news isn't as glamorous as a Van Nistelrooy or Henry return to the Premier League, the scoring record is actually pretty damn glamorous.

Beattie tallied 23 Premier League goals in 2002-2003. He scored 14 the next year, and chipped in with 10 for Everton as recently as two and a half years ago. He has hit for double-digit goals during five different Premier League seasons (11-12-23-14-10), and at 30 years old, perhaps has a bit left in the tank.

Beattie should partner fantasy footie budget option Ricardo Fuller (6 goals) up front. My guess is that Beattie will be priced around 5.5M to 6.0M when introduced into the Premier League fantasy game. 

Beattie is Sheffield United's penalty taker - and has scored 34 goals in the past 1.5 years in the Championship. 34 goals. If (and this is a big if) he gets on penalties at Stoke and holds down a starting spot alongside Ricardo Fuller - he could be a decent budget option down the stretch.

Ronaldo Wins FIFA World Player of the Year

We know he's the greatest fantasy footballer. And now, according to FIFA - in 2008, he was the greatest footballer too. 

Obviously.

Interesting Monday fun fact: Ronaldo is the first Premier League player to take home the award.

Double the Pleasure, Double the Fun

And Ronaldo proves me right. Not the best statistical performance in the world, but an inspired one that will surely include at least 2 bonus points when the mysterious and unpredictable bonus point gurus hand out the little treats later on today...

From the BBC Live Text: "Sorry but Chelsea are nowhere near who they were under Avram Grant, never mind Jose Mourinho."

And that sums it up. Evra, Rooney, Ronaldo, Evans, and Berbatov owners enjoy.

EPL Gameweek 21 Fantasy Preview: Can Rooney, Rio, or Rafael Give Ronaldo a Ride to the Matches, Please?

When most American kids still thought a "sweeper" was what their moms did after dinner, I moved to the US from footie-crazy Israel and had to learn US soccer customs on the fly. 

The most foreign: the concept of the American soccer mom. That frenzied, minivan driving, juice box (or Gatorade bottle) handing out late 30s to mid 40s superwoman who was a master of phone chains and carpool lists. I hope the Manchester United carpool has a spare seat this weekend - because we all know Cristiano Ronaldo needs a ride. And we need him in our fantasy squads.

So, in our traditionally lengthiest post of the week - let's take a look at the weekend's Premier League fixtures and examine (I) the best match (II) the most fantasy friendly fixture (III) a prediction of stud and dud performers in the greatest league on earth and (IV) a weekly 'best eleven' squad.

I. Chelsea @ Manchester United: Surprisingly, neither of these teams sit at the top of the Premier League and both will be looking for a result at Old Trafford on Sunday to stay hot on the heels of league leaders Liverpool.

With neither side in particulary fluid attacking form, I expect a low-scoring defensive affair despite the abundance of attacking talent (Ronaldo, Rooney, Lampard, Drogba, Berbatov) on the pitch. Chelsea manager Luiz Felipe Scolari could really use former fantasy footie bonus point machine and rock Michael Essien in the middle of the park but will have to settle for a combination of the much less physical Frank Lampard, Deco, and/or Michael Ballack.

Tactically, I expect Chelsea to deploy a 4-5-1 with Didier Drogba leading the line. Bad news for the thousands of fantasy managers still clinging to Nicolas Anelka, but just a gut feeling for this one. Drogba is more physical than Anelka - and better suited to deal with United's central defensive pairing of Rio Ferdinand and Nemanja Vidic.

Speaking of Ferdinand, the United skipper is still a question mark with a back injury, and reserve stud Jonny Evans (4.3M) could keep his place alongside Vidic in defense. United fans and Evans or Ferdinand fantasy owners should continue to monitor that situation - but more and more it looks like Ferdinand will be fit.

It seems like a cop out predicting a low scoring draw, but many of these Top 4 clashes often fail to produce attacking scorelines.

Prediction: 1- 1 draw

II. WBA @ Aston Villa: The worst team in the Premier League travels to Villa Park to take on a Champions League contender. Aston Villa were second best the whole match against Gillingham just a few days ago in the FA Cup, but somehow managed to get the 2-1 win. Winning ugly. A win is a win. And other sports cliches. 

Ashley Young was disappointing in that match - diving for a soft penalty call, and falling to the floor all match in search of free kicks - a vintage 2006 Cristiano Ronaldo performance, really, but no one can deny the winger's abundance of talent. James Milner looked the best on the day for Villa, and classy keeper Brad Friedel put in his usual stellar performance.

West Brom are in form, having won 2-of-3, but both wins came at home. In 7 matches against Villa since the Premier League era began, West Brom have failed to win once. I expect the trend to continue as Villa will look to exploit the Baggies' back line through Young and Agbonlahor's pace.

Only a vintage performance from goalkeeper Scott Carson will save WBA this weekend. Villa are just too good.  

Prediction: 3 - 0 Aston Villa

III. Studs & Duds: All Wigan and Manchester United starters are short term stud selections this week due to a double gameweek schedule. On Wigan's end - bargain goalkeeper Chris Kirkland is straddling the stud/dud fence as he may only be fit for the United match. If he misses the (easier) home fixture with Tottenham, owners will not be happy.  

Almost always, buying up players for the double gameweek is a great short-term strategy - but this week fantasy managers could be left very disappointed. Wigan players have a decent fixture with Tottenham at home, but then a terrible fixture at Old Trafford. Manchester United have a terrible fixture at home to Chelsea, and the aforementioned home game with Wigan. I'd expect a "1.5x" gameweek rather than a true "double" gameweek. Wigan's best plays are the obvious Zaki and the less obvious blog favorite Ryan Taylor, with Antonio Valencia in midfield also a strong option. But please, don't go Wigan-crazy because the Latics face Manchester City, Liverpool, and Aston Villa after the double week.

Non double gameweek studs for this week include Arsenal's Johan Djourou, a 4.4M bargain at home to Bolton - and since Switzerland is the country of choice for most financial investments, you could do much worse than taking a punt on perhaps the country's cheapest asset. 

Other bargain studs include Leon Osman (one week only, at home to Hull) and West Ham's blog favorites Carlton Cole and Craig Bellamy visiting an injury-riddled Newcastle side. Arsenal's Denilson should also get forward at home to Bolton.

Duds this week include popular fantasy pick Stephen Ireland (suspended) as well as injured Arsenal Frenchmen William Gallas and Mikael Silvestre. Also, Liverpool's Robbie Keane could find himself a benched dud if manager Rafa Benitez decides to go with injury-free Fernando Torres up front in a 4-5-1 instead of pairing Keane with Torres in a 4-4-2. Hull's Geovanni is still owned by 35% of fantasy managers - an incredible percentage - but has not scored a goal in seven matches. Itchy trigger fingers will come into play with the Brazilian if he does not produce at Everton - and thus, he too straddles the precarious stud/dud fence.

IV. EPL Gameweek 21 Best Eleven:

GK: Friedel

D: Djourou - Evra - R. Taylor

M: Gerrard - Ronaldo - A. Young - Arteta - Valencia

F: Rooney - Zaki

D(r)iver Ronaldo Wrecks Ferrari

The world's (former) best (fantasy) footballer is fine but one of his many play toys is ruined.

Authorities cite a steering malfunction due to lack of automotive lube, substantial amounts of which were found in the hair of the driver. No charges have been filed.

How can he run a two seater into a wall and waltz off like nothing happened, but roll on the ground for minutes when someone tugs his shirt?

Watercooler Bragging Rights: The Office Fantasy Football League

A great guest post today from Butt Buddy Chris Nee as we bring in the New Year of fantasy football fixtures this weekend. Chris is a social media planner and football fanatic who blogs at twofootedtackle and Villa Offside.

There's something about fantasy football that just stumps me. I guess I'm a retrospective football geek. Ask me about football that's actually happened and I'll withdraw into my mental library aisles and pull out any old obscure fact I consider relevant.

But ask me to predict football and it just never seems to work. I'll identify the wrong wunderkind. I'll pick a great defender playing in a leaky back four.

Over the years, from the old-school days of 'proper' fantasy football (complete with auction), through paid leagues in The Times, to regular appearances in the official Premier League game, I've just got it all wrong.

But not this time.

I currently sit in second spot, which is positively nosebleed-inducing. I got great mileage out of Wigan's Amr Zaki before drafting him out just in time to replace him with an on-form Jermain Defoe. My defence scores goals and concedes few. In short, I'm rather pleased with myself.

Here are my top seven tips to office league success (or at least contentment) based on the Premier League platform:

1. Pay attention. Not everybody in the league will do so, and this will give you the edge. Work leagues attract all sorts, and few will be fanatics.
   
   
2. Consider last season. It's all well and good saying a particular player had a one-off season, but at least last season's scores provide a better starting point than lobbing a cocktail stick into the ocean and hoping you catch a fish.
   
   
3. Pick two prolific strikers. Yes, you need to spread the funds around the team, but getting guaranteed goal points in the bag is an absolute must. Strikers are, in my view, the most important players, though a solid goalkeeper and back four are useful too.
   
   
4. Pick Frank Lampard or Steven Gerrard. Loads of people prefer Cristiano Ronaldo, but I think it's fair to say he'll never have another season like 2007/08. Lampard and Gerrard are expensive, but they're goal machines from midfield. Get one of them in your side.
   
   
5. Act quickly. If a cheap player is on form and it looks likely to continue, draft him in before he goes off the boil. His value will go up, and you'll bank the cash from his transfer so you can bring in a more expensive replacement when his form becomes more…realistic.
   
   
6. Make only one transfer a week. It's tempting to change more players, but with four points lost for each extra move every week, it really isn't worth it. When it comes to the crunch, every decision is going to be a gamble. Losing four points and then watching the removed player score a hat-trick is rather galling.
   
   
7. Don't tell your colleagues you'll win the league. Chances are you won't, and you'll look a prize idiot. Trust me, I know.
   
   

Hope that's useful. Good luck for the rest of the season.

The Mandatory Transfer Window Gossip Post Part II: Foreign Fantasy Footballers

We commented on Defoe's move to Tottenham even before the New Year rolled around and then again more recently this past week in 2009, so that 'breaking news,' isn't all that breaking to us. Just wanted to let you know you can check those previous posts for our buy-Defoe fantasy analysis.

A great line from the BBC's live text yesterday - "Jermain Defoe, looking like an extra from Oliver, walks out on to the White Hart Lane pitch to reacquaint himself with the Spurs fans."

But enough of Dickens and The Parish Boy's Progress - let's flee the sarcasm of the United Kingdom and take a very brief look at a few fantastic foreigners who may soon invade the British Empire:

• Steve Bruce has confirmed the signing of Colombian stud striker Hugo Rodallega. If anyone follows the Mexican club Necaxa - let us know how you rate the 6 foot 1 forward. This could be a mixed bag of news for blog favorite Henri Camara owners. We recommended Camara as a budget option back in November, and he has delivered the goods with injuries to Zaki and Heskey - but now, with Rodallega in the mix, it looks like Camara may move to Stoke. Positive: A starting position alongside Ricardo Fuller? Negative: A starting position alongside Ricardo Fuller.

• Arshavin to Arsenal. This is a non-story from a fantasy perspective, in my opinion. Arshavin's agent says Zenit are holding up the sale and looking for a higher bid - I say - who cares. Arshavin had a great 4-week stretch at the Euro Championships last summer but I find it hard to believe that he will light the Premier League on fire. He's already 27 years old, is 5 foot 7 in tall, and in his last five years in the Russian Premier League has scored 6 - 9 - 7 - 10 - and 6 goals. Hitting double digits once in the Russian Premier League doesn't exactly excite me. He's technical, he's quick, and he can shoot from distance - sounds a lot like Yossi Benayoun to me - a good but not spectacular attacking midfielder/second striker. If Arshavin does come to the UK and the official fantasy premier league game classifies him as a midfielder (two very big ifs) than perhaps we have a discussion on our hands. For now, Arshavin is less important than Tal Ben-Haim to Premier League fans.

• On the other hand, Yaya Toure would make an immediate impact in the Premier League but will most likely stay at Barcelona. The Ivory Coast international stars in the centre of the pitch for Barcelona - protecting the 'flair' players and spraying the ball across the park- but a move to the Premier League would surely make him one of the more technically gifted players on his club. I can see him producing statistically in a Danny Murphy - Michael Carrick - Leon Osman range (mostly assists) while contributing both defensively and offensively on set pieces in the more rugged Premier League with his strong 6 foot 3 in frame. A massive longshot, but I'd love to watch Toure on a week-in, week-out basis. We can always dream.

Bargain Ben-Haim to Blackburn?

He was excellent at Bolton. Servicable for the Israeli national team. Mediocre at Chelsea. And with an ass full of splinters at Manchester City. At just 22 years of age, Tal Ben-Haim's performances for Bolton were excellent - he even wore the Captain's armband for the club in the UEFA Cup in 2005. 

Oh, how the mighty have fallen. Only 26 years of age - his career has failed to take off, but perhaps a reunion with old manager Sam Allardyce could see a return to form for the powerful central defender.

With all the talk of Manchester City bringing in new players, we often overlook the fact that the squad size will have to be balanced by a few departures. Elano and Jo are rumoured to leave after a dressing room bust up, and Ben-Haim should join them.

Keep an eye on Ben-Haim's form and role under Allardyce. If he starts, he could be a late season fantasy premier league bargain at just 4.4M. Blackburn will surely be tighter at the back under Allardyce than they were under gumshoe manager Paul Ince - and with their next four fixtures against Fulham, Newcastle, Bolton, and Boro - it looks like the low-scoring affairs are set to begin.

By no means is Ben-Haim a fantasy footie stud - but a back of the mind Blackburn bargain he is.

Johnson's Transfer Window to Close, Toilet Seat Shopping Spree Set to Open

Portsmouth's defensive wizard Glen Johnson is on the verge of signing a new four-year deal to stay at Portsmouth. Good news for Portsmouth fans. Great news for Alvaro Arbeloa fantasy footie owners. 

Johnson was reportedly a 10 million pound target for the Anfield club but sources on the South Coast indicate that he will stay at Fratton Park. No Champions League footie than for Johnson, and no reason to worry about competition for his place for Arbeloa - who is enjoying a breakout season under Rafa Benitez.

Johnson's new deal will run through 2013 and should allow the England international to purchase toilet seats at local hardware stores, rather than steal them.

Hey, when you gotta go, you gotta go. In this case, Johnson stays.

The Mandatory Transfer Window Gossip Post

With the January transfer window now officially in full swing, it's important to take a look at the impact of potential signings on current fantasy football studs and duds. Let's look at the likeliest transfers rumoured around the Premier League and analyze the fantasy impact:

• Jermain Defoe to Tottenham. Defoe is out of form and clearly rattled by the departure of the man who brought him to Pompey in the first place, Harry Redknapp. Available at just 8.1M, the speedy (and selfish?) striker has seen his fantasy value plummet from 8.7M just two short months ago. If Defoe does move to Tottenham, blog favorite Peter Crouch could benefit with penalty taking duties whilst Niko Krancjar could see a major spike in fantasy value playing the "Gerrard role" right behind the lone beanpole striker in a 4-5-1. Less likely, but possible, are Kanu and David Nugent earning starts and becoming "budget options" alongside Crouch. Defoe is owned by 22% of fantasy managers, and I truly believe he will come good in 2009 and finish the season with 15-20 goals if he moves to Tottenham. He scored 8 goals in his first 12 appearances for Portsmouth after a January 2008 transfer, so a move to Tottenham could give the 26-year-old a major confidence boost in the prime of his career.

• Roque Santa Cruz to Manchester City. New Blackburn boss Sam Allardyce will do everything he can to keep a hold of his Paraguayan international - but with Benedict McCarthy and Jason Roberts proven Premier League strikers, and youngster Matt Derbyshire in reserve, a massive offer from the Arab billionaires would surely be accepted.  McCarthy and especially Roberts (6.3M) would be fantasy options once again - don't forget, McCarthy scored 18 Premier League goals two years ago, while Benjani's and Jo's value would take a hit at City - with Santa Cruz and Robinho leading the front line.

• Stewart Downing to Tottenham. He probably won't move, but Tottenham have made a bid for the one-footed winger. He can't use his right foot, and is basically a much slower Aaron Lennon. With David Bentley already at Tottenham handling set piece duties and swinging in crosses, is a move for Downing really the best way to spend Tottenham cash? Who knows, but the move would free up penalty kick duties and free kick duties at inconsistent Boro. First shot will probably go to super dud Afonso Alves, the 6.8M fantasy rated Brazilian who is in the midst of a terrible season. Perhaps a scored penalty or free kick will turn his fortunes around, but I would urge all fantasy managers to stay away.

• Scott Parker to Manchester City & Stephen Ireland to Arsenal. Arsene Wenger has failed in his bid to bring Everton fantasy stud Mikel Arteta to the Emirates, and has now set his sights on City's fantasy stud Stephen Ireland. Why would City let Ireland go, especially considering his form and consistency under Mark Hughes - but after City's shocking 3-0 FA Cup exit, Hughes mentioned he wanted to bring in players with more "bite" and "passion" - he believes he has talent with 'twinkle toes' Robinho, SWP, and the free-flowing creative playmaking of Ireland - but is looking for a ball-winner, a leader, and a box to box stud. 

• That's where West Ham's Scott Parker steps in. The former Chelsea man is one of the best midfield generals in the league (when healthy) and could settle in nicely under Hughes. This would, then, make Ireland less integral to the team. He could then move over to Arsenal and become the new 'Cesc' for half-a-season and move to the wing opposite Nasri upon Cesc's return. I honestly don't know if this will increase or decrease Ireland's fantasy value. On the bright side, he has RvP and Adebayor around him now and he will play in a "Top 4" (or "Top 5") side - but on the other hand, he will not be the "focus" that he is at City - with Nasri, Denilson, etc. around him to steal some of his midfield thunder... In less important news - I would think Mark Noble's fantasy value at West Ham would skyrocket with a Parker departure - he would be on free kicks, penalties, and aim to pull the strings for Bellamy, Cole, and (if he ever returns) Ashton up front.
  

Would love to hear your transfer window gossip and rumours, predictions, and fantasy implications in the comments section. Will Ireland be a Gunner? Will he be a successful Gunner? Oh, beautiful January.

Butt Buddy Quick Link

Butt Buddy Twofootedtackle featured a part-footie & part-politics post today written by yours truly. 

Here's the link. 

Back with more Premier League and fantasy footie commentary soon...

Happy New Year to all.

Rio Ferdinand's Back Hurts, But At Least He's a Great Singer

Manchester United Captain Rio Ferdinand has yet to return to training as he continues to suffer from a back injury, but at least he has a singing/acting career to fall back on if he never fully recovers.

The now intimidating 6 foot 3 inch physical specimen in a somewhat less intimidating role in a 1991 school play. Miley Cyrus fans, enjoy.

Wayne's World, Party Time

From one billionaire to another.

It looks like former fantasy footie substitute stud Wayne Bridge is set to lose his title as the highest paid backup in football history - Bridge will move from Roman Abramovich's Blue Army to Sheikh Mansour bin Zayed Al Nahyan's lighter Blue Army and will actually have to play football more than once a month.

Chelsea's loss isn't huge - The unspectacular but consistent Paulo Ferreira - while a right back "by the book," has featured at left back for Portugal under Scolari and should provide reasonable cover for Ashley Cole.

Manchester City's gain, on the other hand, is substantial. Michael Ball and Javier Garrido lose any inkling of fantasy relevance (though they have not been relevant for months now) and the 5.0M fantasy-rated Bridge should greatly improve City's left-back position.

Ironically, former Manchester United star Mark Hughes has now brought in three Chelsea benchwarmers into the mix at Manchester City - Tal Ben Haim, Shaun Wright-Phillips, and now Bridge. Hughes will  hope that the Bridge signing mirrors the shrewd Wright-Phillips deal rather than the unsuccessful Ben Haim experiment.

All in all - don't get too excited here. City score goals - Robinho, Ireland, and the previously mentioned Wright-Phillips are all exciting fantasy plays this season, but the defense should be avoided for now- unless of course the Sheikh continues building not only with a Bridge but perhaps with a Toure too.