Watercooler Bragging Rights: The Office Fantasy Football League

A great guest post today from Butt Buddy Chris Nee as we bring in the New Year of fantasy football fixtures this weekend. Chris is a social media planner and football fanatic who blogs at twofootedtackle and Villa Offside.

There's something about fantasy football that just stumps me. I guess I'm a retrospective football geek. Ask me about football that's actually happened and I'll withdraw into my mental library aisles and pull out any old obscure fact I consider relevant.

But ask me to predict football and it just never seems to work. I'll identify the wrong wunderkind. I'll pick a great defender playing in a leaky back four.

Over the years, from the old-school days of 'proper' fantasy football (complete with auction), through paid leagues in The Times, to regular appearances in the official Premier League game, I've just got it all wrong.

But not this time.

I currently sit in second spot, which is positively nosebleed-inducing. I got great mileage out of Wigan's Amr Zaki before drafting him out just in time to replace him with an on-form Jermain Defoe. My defence scores goals and concedes few. In short, I'm rather pleased with myself.

Here are my top seven tips to office league success (or at least contentment) based on the Premier League platform:

1. Pay attention. Not everybody in the league will do so, and this will give you the edge. Work leagues attract all sorts, and few will be fanatics.
   
   
2. Consider last season. It's all well and good saying a particular player had a one-off season, but at least last season's scores provide a better starting point than lobbing a cocktail stick into the ocean and hoping you catch a fish.
   
   
3. Pick two prolific strikers. Yes, you need to spread the funds around the team, but getting guaranteed goal points in the bag is an absolute must. Strikers are, in my view, the most important players, though a solid goalkeeper and back four are useful too.
   
   
4. Pick Frank Lampard or Steven Gerrard. Loads of people prefer Cristiano Ronaldo, but I think it's fair to say he'll never have another season like 2007/08. Lampard and Gerrard are expensive, but they're goal machines from midfield. Get one of them in your side.
   
   
5. Act quickly. If a cheap player is on form and it looks likely to continue, draft him in before he goes off the boil. His value will go up, and you'll bank the cash from his transfer so you can bring in a more expensive replacement when his form becomes more…realistic.
   
   
6. Make only one transfer a week. It's tempting to change more players, but with four points lost for each extra move every week, it really isn't worth it. When it comes to the crunch, every decision is going to be a gamble. Losing four points and then watching the removed player score a hat-trick is rather galling.
   
   
7. Don't tell your colleagues you'll win the league. Chances are you won't, and you'll look a prize idiot. Trust me, I know.
   
   

Hope that's useful. Good luck for the rest of the season.