EPL Gameweek 11 Fantasy Preview: Zamalek's Zaki's Fantasy Star Fading?

Let's preview Gameweek 11 - analyzing (1) the best "Real life" premier league fixture, (2) the most fantasy friendly EPL matchup, and (3) Fantasy Premier League "studs" and "duds."

I.  Liverpool @ Tottenham: Can 'Arry Redknapp's man management style really turn Tottenham's season around? In the U.S., sports analysts would call Redknapp a "player's coach," but regardless of  his style or substance, the 61-year old former West Ham midfielder has decent talent to work with in London, and a mid-table finish for Spurs is not out of the question.

Top of the Premier League Liverpool (yes, you read that correctly) travel to White Hart Lane on the back of a tight 1-0 midweek win over Redknapp's former team, Portsmouth, and will be wise not to underestimate their rejuvenated opponents.

Let's take a look at the fantasy implications. Liverpool's form players Kuyt & Gerrard look the best bets to exploit Tottenham's shaky defense, while value play Daniel Agger (5.9MM) should be restored to the first team after veteran Sami Hyypia featured in blog nemesis Benitez's plans midweek.

While Tottenham offer very intriguing long-term selections (Modric, Bentley, and Bent are all priced in the 7MM range and with the exception of Modric, have proved themselves capable fantasy premier league performers over the years), Liverpool's organization at the back should be too much for even the most offensive of lineups.

Prediction: Liverpool 2 -1 

II. Hull @ Manchester United: A no-brainer, really, if you watched the United - West Ham match midweek. While Chelsea should be able to start a new "home winning streak" against Roy Keane's Sunderland and blog favorite Lampard and company will surely score against the Black Cats, United really look to be rounding into form.

They are not firing at all cylinders just yet, but you just get the feeling that sooner or later United will pull out another 4-0 or 5-0 scoreline. Hull visit Old Trafford with their confidence shaken, whilst the world's best player Cristiano Ronaldo is just getting his confidence back.  

It will be a long day for the Tigers. Look for Rooney to return to the scoresheet after a rest/cameo appearance midweek, and Ronaldo to continue pursuing his 25-goal target. 

It would take a very daring (foolish?) manager to place the captain's armband on someone other than Ronaldo, at home, with renewed confidence, and playing a promoted side.

Prediction: Manchester United 4 - 0 

III. I'd like to focus this gameweek's "studs" and "duds" discussion around strikers, but first, let's take a look at a quick "value" stud and blog favorite: Chelsea's Alex (5.6MM).  

We recommend that Kompany (5.7MM) owners take a very close look in the fantasy mirror and go with the 4-week Brazilian rental (who should provide 2-4 clean sheets in that span) rather than the out-of-position Belgian star, (who may pick up 2-4 yellow cards in that span). The Kompany experiment was a nice one, but unless managers believe he can really put in a goal or assist every 4-5 games, he's not worth it. City are too inconsistent. He's a dud. Pick up Alex, he's a stud. You've been well warned.

Now let's take a look at some interesting midrange value "Stud" strikers, of which there are aplenty. Alves (7.1MM) is a blog favorite as is former Maccabi Haifa superstar Yakubu (7.8MM) - proven Premier League scorers with favorable fixtures who usually score goals in hot streaks. Those managers priced out of Carew, Defoe, and Agbonlahor could keep a close eye on Alves as well as Fulham's Andrew Johnson (6.8MM) and Sunderland's Jones (6.9MM) as well as the previously mentioned Bellamy (6.5MM). Managers could do much worse.

Which brings me to our "dud," sort of. 

Suddenly, Egyptian stud Zaki (7.1MM) has some serious competition in the 7MM range. Proven scorers like Andrew Johnson and Craig Bellamy are cheaper, and Wigan are struggling. Was the Zamalek man just in-form for two months? Or can he keep up the pace throughout the season? He leaves managers frustrated (2 goals at Liverpool wasted on many fantasy managers' benches) followed up by two blanks in a row against Aston Villa and Fulham...

Is it the cold weather, Amr? Whatever it is, it must slightly worry Zaki owners. While we at Never Captain Nicky Butt do NOT recommend dropping him, managers should seriously lower expectations. He scored 22 in 54 in the Egyptian league, an excellent return, but he won't hit 20 Premier League goals. Wigan's upcoming fixtures look kind, so keep the muscular front-man as your bargain striker, but please just give the Captain's Armband to C-Ron.

Now, you are free to discuss.

Good luck to all this weekend.

David Bentley's Blast & A Brilliant Butt Buddy: A Cracking Gameweek 10

A big congratulations to Never Captain Nicky Butt blog reader "Nathan" for winning the first ever Butt Buddies Battle of Brilliance fantasy premier league contest sponsored by Soccer Pro.

Nathan, please email us at NeverCaptainNickyButt [at] gmail [dot] com and we will have Soccer Pro forward you the winning gift certificate.

While we're here to congratulate the high-scoring Nathan, let's take a look at some midweek news & notes:

• Super-Captain Cristiano Ronaldo put in a solid shift in United's walk in the park over West Ham. The scoreline doesn't do United's domination justice. Interestingly, the last 30 minutes of the match saw Rooney, Berbatov, Tevez, and Ronaldo all on the pitch together - and there were plenty of chances to go around.

• New boss Harry Redknapp steered Tottenham Hotspur to a stunning 4-4 draw at Arsenal. Arsenal's shot at a Premier League title is over after 10 games. Sorry Gunners fans. A soft defense combined with an inexperienced side wins few accolades. Blog favorite David Bentley impressed with the volley of the season. 

• Manchester City were exposed by modest Middlesbrough and Robinho bandwagon owners will surely be disappointed. Despite City's riches, their inconsistent form continues to perplex fantasy owners. Nevertheless, Hughes' high-scoring team has a chance to turn it around at Bolton on the weekend, though the Trotters have a surprisingly excellent defensive record under Megson at the Reebok Stadium.

• Apologies to perpertual blog "dud" Gareth Barry owners - who is back in Villa's midfield and no longer playing left-back. The skipper scored (a tap-in goal) against Blackburn but still seems a pricey option this season with A. Young and Everton's Cahill and Areta in the same range.

• Just a thought - especially for Kompany owners. Keep an eye on Blackburn's "out of position" stud, Stephen Warnock. The former Liverpool left-back is now a central fixture in Ince's midfield and with the offensive firepower (RSC, McCarthy, Villanueva) surrounding him, he could be a great value play. Blackburn won't keep loads of clean sheets, but neither will Manchester City either - and while Kompany is dangerous on set pieces, he is prone to yellow cards and will rarely pick up bonus points in a holding role. Just food for thought if you aren't comfortable with City's inconsistent form and leaky defense - it might be the time to drop Kompany.

EPL Gameweek 10 Fantasy Preview: A Lapdance for Carew; Fantasy Soccer Tips for You

I'd probably rather have a lapdance than a pair of soccer boots, but since beggars can't be choosers we are offering a gift certificate to the lucky winner of the first ever Butt Buddies Battle of Brilliance.

Let's take a look at Gameweek 10 - analyzing (1) the best "Real life" premier league matchup, (2) the most fantasy friendly EPL fixture, and (3) Fantasy Premier League "studs" and "duds."

I. Chelsea @ Hull: The best team money can buy travels to the KC Stadium to take on the Premier League's surprisingly successful new boys. Hull City manager Phil Brown saw his Tigers play some beautiful end-to-end football in the weekend win over fellow promoted side WBA, but this will surely be a greater test for Geovanni & co.

Despite the home defeat to Liverpool, Chelsea are still the team to beat. Their defense is a fantasy premier league manager's wet dream, clean sheets aplenty for the likes of Bosingwa, Carvalho, Terry, and Cole that will keep on coming and coming.

Expect Hull's recent superb form to come to a crashing halt. Scolari will have his overpaid stars ready to bounce back, and if Hull comes out playing attacking football at home and decides against "parking the team bus" they could be even more vulnerable to Chelsea's speed and technique on the counter attack.

Alex owners should now drop the short term Brazilian rental with Carvalho and Terry back to full fitness, but if you are feeling extremely adventurous, you could take a chance on Belletti (5.7M) who is listed as a defender but has been playing in the midfield and represents a goal scoring threat from set pieces and long distance shots.

Prediction: 2 - 0 Chelsea

II. West Ham @ Manchester United: While Robinho is proving that Manchester City are a fantasy force to be reckoned with, let's not forget about United's firepower just yet. Ronaldo/Rooney/Berbatov owners will be happy to note that United have a game in hand but before we get into double gameweek strategies, let's look at the West Ham matchup.

Cristiano Ronaldo was named FIFPro Player of the Year just two days after he squandered a handful of chances in United's disappointing draw at Everton, and fantasy owners are still waiting for a "breakout" game.

At 5.6MM Darren Fletcher represents a bargain option in United's midfield when selected, but the competition for places is too great to count on the instrumental Scot week in and week out. Veteran Ryan Giggs has been pulling the strings nicely through the center of the park while Rooney/Berbatov continue in-form, and the fans at Old Trafford should expect more of the same from United's attacking giants.

But is Sir Alex the new Rafa? Perhaps Carlitos Tevez will get the start against his former club. Perhaps Ronaldo will be rested. Perhaps Wes Brown will play. Maybe Gary Neville will get a run out. Or Rafael. Who knows. What we do know, is that United can't afford a home draw. Trust in the Red Devils.

Prediction: 3 - 0 Manchester United

III. Value Studs: Stick with Ireland, Garrido, and Valencia. Hull's "value" trio (Boaz Myhill, Geovanni, and Dean Marney) look like safe bench plays at home to Chelsea rather than starting options (Then again, Zaki scored twice at Anfield). Aston Villa look in-form and whilst Ashley Young is clearly a "must-own" option, lap dance recipient John Carew and speedy Brit Gabriel Agbonlahor look excellent options for those managers looking for value in between Zaki and Defoe/Berbatov.

Surprise Studs: What about Di Michele (5.7MM) or Craig Bellamy (6.4MM) who represent both the "value" category and the "surprise" category. After the visit to Old Trafford, West Ham face the inconsistent Boro, and manager Gianfranco Zola loves to attack. Former fantasy superstar Benny McCarthy (Blackburn) could also be worth a look, as he scored against Boro this weekend and is priced at 7.2MM.

Duds: Blog favorite Carlton Cole has scored more fantasy points this season than Fernando Torres, Berbatov, Yakubu, and Anelka, but faces a three match ban. "Deeper" teams could try and hold on to the powerful frontman despite the recent Red Card, but it looks like Davies (Bolton) or even Ameobi (Newcastle) may offer better short-term returns. NCNB favorite Armand Traore, while an excellent long term purchase, could face a tough matchup at league leading Liverpool.

David Bentley is a "stud" in disguise as Harry Redknapp takes over at Tottenham. If current dud Bentley (7.2MM) can find his old Blackburn form under his new skipper, he could well be the purchase of the season in the next 2-4 weeks.

Keep a very close eye on Tottenham's and Bentley's development. His trademark pinpoint crosses, speed down the flanks, and ability from set pieces could make the difference during a second half of the season run for Tottenham's Premier League life and fantasy managers' fantasy league lives.

Good luck to everyone.

Butt Buddies Battle of Brilliance: A Fantasy Soccer Contest sponsored by Soccer Pro

We have a jam packed week of fantasy Premier League football headlined by our first ever "Butt Buddies Battle of Brilliance" sponsored by our friends at SoccerPro.

The winner of the competition will receive a $20 gift certificate from Soccer Pro to spend on anything from the hundreds of styles of soccer boots to balls, jerseys, and other great gear.

Let's get right to the (easy) rules of the competition. The "Brilliant Butt Pundit" will be the blog reader who comes closest to predicting the score total (in gameweek 10!) of the fictional Premier League fantasy football team listed below.

Normal Fantasy Premier League rules apply. For example, if a player does not play, the first eligible player off the bench will take his place. The Captain, of course, will receive double points, so pay close attention to the Captain and the order of substitutes.

The player who comes closest to predicting the team's outcome will be declared the "Brilliant Butt Pundit." In the case of a tie, we have two "tie breaker" questions to ensure that we crown one champion: 1) How many players on the team (including substitutes) will keep clean sheets and 2) How many total goals will be scored by the team. (The tie breaker questions are listed in order of importance.)

To be eligible, just submit your prediction by Wednesday October 29th prior to kickoff. (19:45PM GMT is the deadline, the fictional team does not include WBA or Newcastle players, who play on October 28th.)  Please post contest submissions in the "comments" section in this example style:

1. Total points: 195

2. Total Clean Sheets: 15

3. Total Goals: 12

The Butt Buddies Battle of Brilliance Fantasy Team:

GK: Kirkland

D: Bosingwa - Laursen - Garrido - Evra

M: Lampard - Ronaldo (c) - Nasri - Marney - Taylor (Bolton)

F: Adebayor

Subs Bench: GK Boaz Myhill, 1. Carlton Cole 2. B. Zamora 3. J. Paintsil

I know you can predict results better than Juande Ramos can, so go for it! Good luck to everyone.

(Please send any questions to nevercaptainnickybutt@gmail.com)

EPL Gameweek 9 Fantasy Preview: A Soccer Pro Surprise for Our Readers

Let's get to our favorite column of the week. We choose 1) the best overall Premier League matchup, 2) the most "fantasy friendly" Premier League matchup and 3) an analysis of "Studs" and "Duds" for fantasy footie managers to agree (and disagree) on...

But first, we have some very exciting news to announce. Next week we will be holding our first ever "Butt Buddies Battle of Brilliance," a player prediction competition that is going to be sponsored by online superstore SoccerPro. 

The winner of the competition will receive a $20 gift certificate to the Soccer Pro website, where he/she can purchase their favorite Premier League kits, buy some new boots, or get kicking outside with some new balls.  We hope this will be the start of a great relationship with Soccer Pro, and want to thank them in advance for offering the loyal readers of Never Captain Nicky Butt a chance at winning a small but exciting prize.

Of course, if you win the Butt Buddies Battle of Brilliance, you will be rewarded with more than just a chance to get some gear at SoccerPro, you will have the bragging rights as the first ever Brilliant Butt Reader. Details of the contest will be posted this coming Monday (October 27th). 

I. Liverpool @ Chelsea: Two undefeated teams at the top of the Premier League square off at Stamford Bridge. Bell-end Benitez is contemplating rushing Torres back into action despite his hamstring problem. Diver Didier Drogba should again miss out due to injury for the Blues. Injuries aside, Chelsea haven't been beaten at home in over four years, and that unbeaten run looks set to continue on Sunday as long as Torres remains a major doubt. 

Those Frank Lampard owners who (for some reason) don't own Ronaldo may consider taking the Captain's Armband away from the in-form Chelsea hero.  But free kicks are free kicks, penalties are penalties, and strange deflected goals are strange deflected goals. Those three Lampard specialties (and the prospect of a bonus point or two if Chelsea pull out a victory) should not be forgotten. I am on a Frank high. I admit it. He is dreamy. My girlfriend is into him.

Prediction: 2 - 0 Chelsea

II. Stoke @ Manchester City: This is pretty fantasy friendly my friends. I can see Portsmouth exploding at home to Fulham, and while the Potters will surely be visiting Eastlands on a high after their exceptional 2-1 win over Spurs, I can't bet against the Brazilians out-classing what is essentially an excellent Coca-Cola Championship side.

Mark Hughes will be incredibly disappointed after City's 2-2 draw against Newcastle, but with Ireland, Robinho, Jo, and SWP leading the attack, the men in blue should ease to a comfortable victory. Though Micah Richards will not be available (strained ankle ligaments), the bargain shopping in City's defense (Kompany playing out of position and Garrido available at 4.3MM) looks strong.

Prediction: 4 - 1 Manchester City

III. Value Studs: Stephen Ireland (6.2MM) and Bolton's Matty Taylor (5.7MM). Taylor, Bolton's set piece specialist, squares off against a suspect Tottenham defense short on confidence. Sticking with the Botlon theme, Kevin Davies (6.0MM) is only 3% owned but could be an interesting alternative to Carlton Cole based on upcoming fixtures for managers looking to save money in the attack to spend it elsewhere.

Surprise Studs: Hull's goalkeeper Boaz Myhill (4.1MM) has kept two clean sheets in a row, and faces off against WBA. He could be a great replacement for Fulham's Mark Schwarzer as either a backup option or part-time starter. Christopher Samba (5.4MM) faces off against Boro at home, and has kept 2 clean sheets and scored a goal in his last four matches. Perhaps Alex owners could swap for Blackburn's destroyer as a short-term massive Congolese surprise punt.

Duds: Blog favorite Armand Traore. Traore picked up a knock today in Portsmouth's loss. With Liverpool on the horizon after Fulham, and Niko Kranjcar returning to fitness, has the speedy Arsenal loanee's run in the side come to an end? If I were Redknapp I would play both Niko (on the right) and Traore (on the left) while dropping Coca-Cola Championship caliber Glen Little to the bench, but I'm no Redknapp, so Traore owners should be slightly worried here.

Gareth Barry is a definite dud. Somehow he is still owned by 11% of teams! Please, Barry owners, your prized penalty kick specialist has recently been playing left back. Pick up Ashley Young instead.

Other studs or duds? Let us know. Good luck this weekend, and get ready for an exciting competition on Monday.

Weekend Update: Blog favorite A. Traore looks set to shake off his thigh injury. It will be interesting to see how Portsmouth perform with Redknapp leaving for big money at Tottenham, and likewise, how Tottenham play without Ramos.

Oh Captain!

Last season Cristiano Ronaldo averaged a fantasy point every 9.7 minutes he played. As he rounds in to form this year, he is producing at a rate of 10.5 minute per point. The question has been answered. If you want to be a consistent fantasy prem boss, you need to set aside 14.2MM for the services of the 23 year old.

But this season, Wayne Rooney and Dimitar Berbatov are already staking their claims as spotlight players for the Manchester Reds.  Will they steal the show from Ronaldo?  Or can we safely stamp a virtual tattoo on Ronaldo’s left arm that reads, ‘Captain’? 

While NeverCaptainNicky ringleader Ibracadabra argues that Fat Frank is the only other option, I beg to differ.  This weekend’s list has fixtures that may yield lopsided results with bountiful fantasy points to be won by footballers other than CRon and Lampard. 

Don’t get stuck in a Ronaldo rut, pass the armband around based on the gameweek.

My favorites for captain this week are:

Any Man City Attacker  At less than half the price of Ronaldo or Lampard, I may tap surprise performer Stephen Ireland (6.2) to captain my side in his home match against lowly Stoke.  Certainly Shaun Wright Philips (8.3), Robinho (9.2) and Jo (8.0) are equally as capable.  Bonus points to this match for being televised.

Jermain Defoe (8.6)  Pompey host Fulham and the England international trails only Zaki in fantasy points among strikers.

And my cartoon picks:

Craig Gordon (4.5)   Two clean sheets in his last four starts tell me that Gordon will be ready to blank Newcastle at the Stadium of Light.  If nothing else Sunderland’s ground evokes images of Disney fairytales.

Wayne Rooney (11.1)  Coming off of a 15 point performance, ‘Shrek’ is an unassailable captaincy appointment against his old club.

Joey Barton Should Never Play (Fantasy) Football Again

"Once a thug, always a thug." "Barton should never kick a ball again!" (How are you going to stop him, tie his shoe-laces together?) "He doesn't deserve a penny of his wages."

Whether you think that Barton is a disgraced violent criminal, or a footballer who deserves another chance, is frankly, a moot point. Barton is back.

Thus, the only question that remains is not whether Barton should be allowed to play footie again (clearly, he will, most probably on the weekend against Sunderland), but whether Barton should be called in as a fantasy footballer in the world's greatest virtual game - the Fantasy Premier League.

It was only two years ago (2006-2007) that Barton was Manchester City's leading scorer. You read that correctly. Leading scorer. That season, Barton scored 7 goals, scored 26 bonus points, and was valued at 7.0M. 

Now, he is valued at 5.5M and plays three of his next four fixtures against Sunderland, West Brom, and Fulham. Is it worth taking a punt on the bad boy?

We love value plays. We've championed Carlton Cole and Armand Traore for months. Clearly, we know bargains. But the buck stops here. Despite his price tag (which places him in the Marney - Delap - Geovanni - Reo-Coker bargain bin), Barton should be avoided.

He comes cheap. But cheap goods often come with hidden costs, like lead paint with cheap toys from China, or red cards with cheap midfielders who suit up for Newcastle.

Stick with Marney and Delap, my friends. 

Fat Frank Lampard Better than Perpetual Captain Cristiano Ronaldo?

Successful Fantasy Premier League managers know the game is all about value. That's why we love picking Mikel Arteta, Stephen Ireland, and Amr Zaki and hate picking Michael Owen or Nicolas Anelka. Production on the cheap is the name of the game as long as you can afford fantasy slave Cristiano Ronaldo to wear the Captain's Armband week in and week out. A no-brainer, right?

Wrong? As pointed out by recent Never Captain Nicky Butt commenters, an in-form Frank Lampard coupled with an in-form Wayne Rooney could start throwing Ronaldo-reliers* into a funk. 

We all know that Ronaldo is the game's best (2 goals and 2 assists in only three Premier League starts), but with Rooney and Berbatov stealing the winger's bonus points, and with Deco, Drogba, Ballack, and Joe Cole either far from full fitness or far from form, fat Frank suddenly looks like the man for the Captain's armband.

Lampard leads the league with 16 bonus points and has chipped in with 3 goals and 2 assists. Could you steal some thunder from your league's leader by going against the grain and captaining Lampard in the short term until Ronaldo starts regularly picking up 2-3 bonus points per match along with his customary goal a game?

Would you be so (foolish) bold to swap out Ronaldo straight up for Lampard, and spend the excess cash elsewhere?

Let us know your thoughts. Currently, Never Captain Nicky Butt bloggers Ibracadabra and Stepovers Anonymous are dominating their league with the Lampard/Ronaldo combo-strategy, but both have captained Ronaldo each of the past three weeks. Could it now be Lampard's turn to lead out their respective teams? 

What do you think? Short-term? Long-term? You be the judge. Let us know.

* Ronaldo-reliers: those fantasy premier league managers who rely on Cristiano Ronaldo week in and week out and award the world's greatest footballer with the Captain's armband regardless of form or difficulty of opponent. 

Fantasy Premier League Blog Mirrors Real Life: Fantasy Soccer Sign of Apocalypse Upon Us

Some supporters tell us that we are the wittiest fantasy premier league blog. Drunkenly, they chant our name at stadiums across the globe, "Never Captain Nicky Butt! Never Captain Nicky Butt!"

Joe Kinnear clearly disagrees.

He captained Nicky Butt.

The end of the world is near.

EPL Gameweek 8 Fantasy Preview: A Worldwide Injury Crisis

Forget the worldwide financial crisis, we've got a premier league wide injury crisis on our hands. Let's get right to our formulaic Never Captain Nicky Butt gameweek 8 fantasy premier league preview - where we look at (I) the best overall premier league matchup, (II) the most fantasy friendly premier league matchup, and (III) "studs" and "duds" for all fantasy soccer managers to benefit from:

I. Portsmouth @ Aston Villa: Two high-scoring teams that are "almost there," looking to cement themselves as legitimate Big Four challengers, face off at Villa Park. Portsmouth's little/big pairing of Defoe/Crouch look to light up the score sheets, while Villa are sweating on the fitness of striker Gabby Agbonlahor. Villa winger Ashley Young, left out of the England national team setup, will have a point to prove.

Aston Villa could hand a start to Newcastle new boy James Milner, so Reo-Coker and Petrov owners may find their assets on the bench. Play all of your offensive stars - Carew, Defoe, Barry, Young, etc. Prediction 2 - 1 Aston Villa.

Alert: Portsmouth fantasy stud Niko Kranjcar is nearing full fitness, and could threaten blog favorite Armand Traore's run in the first team. Keep an eye out on the developing situation.

II. WBA @ Manchester United: A no brainer. Keep a close eye on the Neville/Wes Brown right-back rotation quandary. If one of those two can establish themselves as the sure-fire starter, then they are a MUST pick-up for all fantasy managers. Wayne Rooney looked absolutely brilliant for England over the international break as a "big fish" in Capello's pond, but as a "normal fish" in Ferguson's ocean of stars (Ronaldo, Berbatov, Tevez, Giggs, etc.) he surely won't deliver the same returns. Prediction 3 - 0 Man Utd.

III. We normally start with the "studs," but let's look at "duds" first this week. Doubts due to injury, and thus "duds" - Zaki (bench him anyway at Liverpool), Torres (out), Cesc (broken nose), Chelsea defenders (all carrying knocks), Babel, Owen, Sagna, Gallas, and possibly Robinho too. Yikes. Other "duds" this week: Everton defenders (does anyone really still own Lescott?) & Wigan defenders.

Studs: I am going out on a limb here, but at some point Tottenham need to turn it around. Stoke City may just be the place where the team starts to click. David Bentley could be a great value play, as could Darren Bent and Frazier Campbell (if he gets a start or two). I really think this team has too much fantasy studly talent in the dressing room not to become a mid-season force. Adebayor and RvP are obvious studs this weekend, and whenever healthy. Look for decent returns from Fulham players (Bullard, Murphy, Gera, Zamora) as they always seem to play better at Craven Cottage than they do on the road.

Who do you think will be this weekend's studs and duds? Can Tottenham turn it around? Let your voice be heard. Cheers, and good luck.

Benitez is a Bell-End: "Torres is Injured, Let's Change World Cup Qualifying!"

Rafa Benitez's beard is clearly one of the worst examples of facial hair in modern football. While the Liverpool manager's goatee won't win him any style points on the touchline, his comments today regarding fantasy stud Fernando Torres' hamstring injury won't win him any sanity points either.

"There are too many international games and the demands on the players are too much," the vagina faced Spaniard whined whilst suggesting that "weaker" countries should play one another first, and only then face off against "stronger" countries in World Cup qualification.

Benitez's rotation policy is well chronicled and this recent outburst seems to re-affirm his belief that modern day footballers (the fittest non-Olympian athletes in the world) somehow need to rest and stay fresh after running for 90 minutes twice a week.

Fantasy managers who owned Torres should look at Adebayor, Rooney and Defoe as natural top tier replacements. Liverpool fan fantasy managers looking to get cheeky may take a punt on Robbie Keane, but the Irishman has yet to play to his potential in a Reds uniform.

Look for our popular gameweek preview in the next 24 hours.

How Many Physios Could a Roman Buy if a Roman Could Buy Physios?

Buy a few more physios Roman, it looks like Chelsea are headed for yet another injury crisis. Deco (thigh) & Carvalho (knee) have been missing for a month, Joe Cole (gashed head (old) and ankle problem (new)) and Didier Drogba (knee) are short of fitness, and word coming out of the England camp suggests that John Terry (back) and Ashley Cole (hamstring) have been ruled out of The Three Lions' World Cup qualifier versus Belarus. Chelsea's Alex was previously ruled out of Brazil's World Cup Qualifiers and his short-term status is also a concern.

Whether you are a fantasy gumshoe manager or veteran premier league pundit, never fear.

Here at Never Captain Nicky Butt, we'll keep you abreast of Chelsea's injury crisis and provide our top weekly picks, musings, and "studs" and "duds," at the end of the week in our always popular Fantasy Premier League Gameweek Preview.

Until then, enjoy World Cup Qualifying. 

Change We Need, Change We Can Believe In: The England Team is In

The lineups are set, and another week of World Cup Qualifying is well underway. Early season fantasy premier league surprise and Manchester United "super-sub" Darren Fletcher is wearing the Captain's armband for Scotland in an early morning (US Pacific Time) battle against fantasy stud John Carew and Norway.

Sweden take on Portugal and Germany battle Russia in two tasty brand-name battles, but fantasy premier league pundits are surely more excited for Capello's 4-3-3 than Zlatan vs C-Ron. 

Here is England's starting lineup for today's match against Borat's Boys. Blog favorite Ashley Young is nowhere to be found. (He's not even in the team.)  Surely the the Three Lions will produce a comfortable result against a team ranked 131st in the world (after mighty Hong Kong but before mighty Singapore), but is this change we can believe in? Can this team strike fear into the world come 2010?

GK: James

D: Brown

D: Ferdinand

D: Upson (Terry - back injury)

D: Cole

M: Gerrard

M: Lampard

M: Barry

F: Walcott

F: Heskey

F: Rooney

Beckham, Borat, and Belarus: The Premier League's Best Fantasy Options Don't Always Suit Up for The Three Lions

Kazakhstan's prostitutes are cleanest in the region. Except of course, Turkmenistan's. Good news for Ashley Cole.

England's national team faces off against world soccer minnows Kazakhstan and Belarus while fantasy premier league managers sit on the sideline with fingers crossed, hoping that their Gerrard's, Lampard's, Ferdinand's, and Rooney's come back to Premier League action unscathed.

While Capello's crew should easily take six points from Borat's buddies and Barcelona stud Alexander Hleb's Belarus, the England World Cup Qualifying squad is actually less "fantasy" friendly than you would think.

In a "fantasy" world, there would be no room for Emile Heskey, Gareth Barry, or David James in an "England Best 11," but in the "real" world, they are starters. Let's take a look at an England "Fantasy Premier League" Best Eleven looking from a purely statistical standpoint only. Throw the 100M budget out the window. Could this be England's best lineup?

GK: Scott Carson

D: A. Cole
D: J. Carragher*
D: J. Terry
D: G. Johnson

M: A. Young
M: F. Lampard
M: M. Etherington
M: S. Wright-Phillips

F: J. Defoe
F: C. Cole

* retired from international football. Replaced by Michael Turner (Hull City). I am not joking.

Leave your lineups for England's best "real" Starting Eleven in the comments. Let the debate begin. Cheers.

A Fantasy Premier League International Break with a (Former) Fantasy Footie Phenom

The (fantasy) international break is upon us. While you dream of World Cup 2010 qualification glory for your US, England, or Germany, I sit in my office working on mobile phones but dreaming of being out on the pitch with bags of skill like this guy, Didier Drogba.

It was only two years ago that Drogba was lighting up the Premier League with his power and pace. 20 league goals in the 2006-2007 season, how times have changed. We have Torres, Zaki, and Defoe now, $4 a gallon gas instead of $2 a gallon gas, and GChat instead of AOL Instant Messenger. 

Oh, Didier, your time has come and gone. Cheers lad, you always impressed me.  

Good luck to all managers over the international break. Use the comments to discuss fantasy favorites of the past, present, and future.

Slovak Skrtel Damages Knee Ligaments: Let's go Rafa Rotation Shopping

Liverpool defender Martin Skrtel had cemented a position for himself at centre back with a series of solid performances this season, but now faces a lengthy spell on the sidelines after injuring ligaments in his right knee.

Bad news for Liverpool, but great news for fantasy premier league managers. Liverpool defenders, long avoided because of Rafa's rotation policy are now great bargain buys.

Managers who own Arsenal's Gallas, Clichy, Sagna, or Toure would be crazy not to swap out one of those four high-priced (6.5M) options for Daniel Agger (5.9M). Sami Hyypia (5.3M) could steal a few of the Dane's starts at the back, but Agger will clearly be first choice to replace Skrtel.

Agger will differentiate fantasy managers from their competitors (who are more likely to own Glen Johnson, Vincent Kompany, or even Verdan Corluka in this price range) and will bring solid returns.

Do you Agger-ee?

Match Day Thoughts: Fantasy Analysis from the Stands

Only 3 early games to take in today as Manchester United and Blackburn are set to kick-off any minute. No WAG sightings, but we do have a bit of fantasy player analysis:

Wigan 0 -1 Middlesbrough: Boro get their first away win of the season courtesy of an 89th minute Aliadiere strike. Disappointment for Zaki owners but there is no reason to hit the panic button. The Egyptian striker and Premier League leading goalscorer should still be universally owned.

Sunderland 1 - 1 Arsenal: Fabregas gets on the scoresheet for the first time this year, equalizing in injury time. Denilson and Song start together in a central midfield role but provide little attacking flair. Denilson owners beware: A Nasri - Fabregas - Song - Walcott midfield may become the norm sooner rather than later. You have been warned. Arsenal's season looks over in October, but at least they have the youngsters in the Carling Cup.

WBA 1 - 0 Fulham: Perhaps a surprising result but WBA were attacking, somewhat organized at the back, and took the game to Fulham in the second half. The game was open and even, and in place of the suspended Andrew Johnson, American Clint Dempsey impressed. Jimmy Bullard came inches away with a first half free kick, but Fulham never threatened. WBA value plays: Bednar (5.4M) was full of industry up front, while Greening (4.9) provided quality service in the midfield. Fulham bargain option Bobby Zamora was nowhere to be found.

Early Blackburn - Manchester United starting lineup news of fantasy rotation note: Gary Neville is not even on the bench for United. Neville is slow, old, and injury prone. I think it's his thigh this time. Who knows, he still wears the Captain's armband and is an Old Trafford hero, but Wes Brown will continue to see playing time if Neville can't recover.

Share your weekend thoughts in the comments section.

EPL Gameweek 7 Fantasy Preview: Helping Fantasy Soccer Fans Score Week after Week

We know that some of our footie- addicted bachelor readers are probably more interested in the announcement of a new soccer singles dating website than plunging into a world of fantasy premier league opinion and commentary, and while we respect that, we need to focus on soccer/football rather than on T&A for the time being.

Speaking of relationships, as our community continues to grow week by week, we'd be honored if you invited your soccer-addicted friends, family, & footie teammates to voice their opinions on their favorite "fantasy" (and real-life) players/predictions with us.

Enough dating. Now let's take a look at (I) the best overall premier league matchup, (II) the best fantasy friendly matchup, and (III) an analysis of fantasy "studs" and "duds."

I. Liverpool @ Manchester City: The Reds arrive at Eastlands in-form after a brilliant midweek display in the Champions League and face off against Brazilians Robinho, Jo and the big-spending Citizens.

Despite Manchester City's midfield riches, it's hard to bet against Liverpool coming away with at least a point. Hold your Manchester City and Liverpool players, but this is probably not the week to buy/sell stars from these teams. Liverpool defenders (other than Carragher) are always at risk for rotation, and other than Gerrard, the midfield is often rotated too. I can't imagine owning any Liverpool players other than Gerrard, Torres, or Keane. Maybe Alonso if his shooting boots from 70-yards are laced tightly.

Manchester City players are the chic pick of the season: Blog favorite Kompany plays out of position, Ireland is cheap and producing, Wright-Phillips is comfortable and posing a serious threat, and Robinho/Jo are, well, Robinho and Jo. Stick with them if you have them, but don't expect Liverpool to leak too many. Prediction: 1-1 draw.

II. Stoke City @ Portsmouth: There are some great 'fantasy-friendly' matchups in gameweek 7, but Portsmouth at home to Stoke is up there with the best of them. Jermain Defoe is in cracking form and is an excellent buy option. You could do much worse than the out of position Armand Traore at the back. Stoke have yet to win on the road but did produce a shocking 0-0 draw at Liverpool. Midfield general Lassana Diarra will miss the match due to suspension, denting Pompey's possession plans a bit, so a direct to Defoe/Crouch strategy could be employed. Even without Diarra, Portsmouth have too much quality. Prediction: 3-0 to Pompey.

III. Value stud: Everton's Leon Osman (5.9M) is a strong value play at home to Newcastle with Tim Cahill out due to suspension. Osman likes getting forward and works well with perpetual stud Mikel Arteta. Yakubu (8.1M) and the cheaper (7.4M) Saha could get on the scoresheet too.

Surprise stud: Arsenal's Nicklas Bendtner (5.3M) could be a decent one week option. Robin van Persie has been rested each Saturday after a Champions League mid-week game, with Bendtner starting those two games (his only two starts of the season). Partnered alongside the in-form Adebayor, the massive Dane could cause problems at Sunderland if he gets a full 90 minutes under his belt, but he could also find himself on the bench for the whole match. A big gamble.

In-form West Ham are at home to Bolton, so Noble, Cole, Etherington and others look to be excellent value play studs in what is becoming a fun team to watch. Expect a few goals from the Hammers. Noble takes free kicks and corners, Etherington provides the most dangerous attacking threat and pace on the flanks, and Cole remains the massive target on set pieces.

Duds: Any Newcastle player besides Michael Owen, obviously. I'm cautious about Aston Villa "studs" (Young, Laursen, Carew, Agbonlahor) turning into "duds" at Stamford Bridge, but Chelsea are traveling back from Romania with some injuries, and I would not at all be surprised by a draw at the Bridge. Trust in your Villa "studs." Finally, I'm not jumping on the Hull bandwagon just yet. If they can take three points at Tottenham, then the likes of Marney and Geovanni could warrant starting spots. But at this point, they are just great value bench players.

Good luck to all. Let us know who you think will be this weekend's studs & duds!

Diving Didier Drogba Injured: No, Seriously, He's Actually Hurt

Chelsea striker Didier Drogba is injured. In a rare case of non-diving, Drogba's knee injury seems to be legitimate, as he was stretchered off the pitch during Chelsea's Champions League draw in Romania.

The Ivorian is not a fantasy premier league factor this season (as he has just returned from injury) but with Joe Cole and Deco also out due to injury, Chelsea's injury crisis in the real world could provide some excellent short term benefits for fantasy premier league managers.

We've previously mentioned Alex as a great one-month Brazilian rental in the center of Chelsea's defense alongside John Terry, but now let's take a look at a short term attacking option.

Salomon Kalou could benefit the most from Drogba's injury. Drogba's speedy Les Elephants compatriot could slot in alongside Nicolas Anelka in a 4-4-2 or continue his role as a "Wing forward" in the classic Chelsea 4-3-3. Listed as a midfielder, Kalou comes on the "expensive" side (8.4M) but scored 7 goals last season and also provided 11 assists.

Mikel Arteta and Ashley Young are clearly better "long term" options, but if you are looking for a quick fix to differentiate yourself from your mates, taking a gamble on Kalou may pan out. Fantasy managers could always dump the young Ivorian after the international break whilst playing their wild card (Ronaldo-card) and bringing in Young/Arteta to replace the kingly Salomon.